WE SURVIVED DISNEYLAND - DAY 1

So we took our first vacation as a family of 5! Before I overload you with pictures (that was your warning!), let me tell you...we are not fancy vacationing folk, we could not have pulled this amazing trip to SoCal and Disneyland, without being blessed by our family. I'm so grateful that we have family that opened their home to us, we are quickly growing as a family, but they let us crash in a spare room, fed us, let us use the showers first...you know...all the amazing stuff amazing host do! We also were blessed with tickets into the park by my cousin and as an extra bonus, my parents and my sister and her boys switched some plans around so they could join us too! Extra hands never hurt!

 

Now, I'd like to think that Steve and I could have handled the trip on our own, after all, we are two very responsible adults, raising the next generation of responsible peoples, but I'm grateful we didn't have to. If this could be a metaphor for life, Disneyland obviously being heaven, you can try to get their on your own, even after extensive planning, but every now and then you need a little help and a little good company on the way!  

 

So on with the show...and be warned, this is only our first day in Disneyland...it was pretty epic, because Henry is finally tall enough to ride most of the rides...for us it was the year of Star Wars, which meant riding star tours a gazillion times (only an estimate). We conquered the newly done Thunder Mountain, we survived the Jungle Cruise, tried our first Dole Whip and basically became like the Mayors of Toon Town when we avoided all the crowds there!

 

okay...now on with the show...

 

 

 

Oh...and no one got food poisoning!

 

BIG BROTHER

My son was not born an older brother...obviously.

However, two years into his journey, we threw the title on him.  If he had wanted to be an only child to have all his parents love and attention reserved for him and him alone, then we rocked his world when we brought his first baby sister into this world. A couple of years later and his title of "Older Brother" became hard core...Older brother of two little sisters. This kid knocks my socks off. He's taken his new job to a whole other level, in the most loving way. I watch him love on his sisters, and care for them, speak to them gently and with patience.

I think about what it takes to undergo a new role, one we may not have been expecting. Sometimes our situation changes, and suddenly we face a new path. Sometimes we find ourselves in a new job a new challenge, circumstances we didn't know we'd come into. Two little sisters, staring us in the face, in need of an older brother.

He is valued in this role, he is valuable. Whether he knows it or not, the love he is pouring into his sisters blesses them and will have an affect on them. It blesses me, it teaches me and reveals what love is and can be.

God is placing us in new situations, placing me in new situations, situations where we are valued and valuable for the work God has laid before us. I am learning to refocus, refocus on what my current role is and trusting that God has placed me here in this place, in this time for a good reason and I can do this job he's given me.

My son was not born an older brother...obviously...but he was born to become an amazing brother, one selected by the hands of God.

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10

SELAH

About 3 weeks ago we met her. We first laid eyes on our sweet, amazing, little baby girl who we affectionately named Selah Rose. We held her, kissed her and welcomed her into the world, into our family and into our hearts. Now before we got to all that, we had a bit of a...journey. 

 

After a long day of non stop contractions, we finally decided to head to the hospital around midnight. I half expected to get sent home, but turns out after 9 long months of waiting, we were ready to have this little gal. At 1 in the morning we prepared for my third c-section, a week ahead of my scheduled one. Everyone prepped me, I signed all the proper forms...blood transfusions forms....husband has permission to make emergency decisions forms....yada yada yada...you know things that we would never really put to use. I cracked a couple jokes, kissed my husband and we were ready to go!

 

At 4 in the morning we welcomed this beautiful baby into the world, after dreaming of her little face, I finally got to see it, hear her little cry. As is goes with c-sections I didn't get to hold her and as they began to close me up they had Steve and Selah leave the O.R.. So there I laid on the operating table and suddenly the worst pain came over me (and that's while heavily medicated!). I tried the best I could to verbalize my pain, but all that could come out was "OW!" I repeated it over and over, louder and louder. I could hear them on the other side of the curtain trying to figure out what was bringing the pain. It felt like someone was manhandling my insides, I can only describe the feeling as if someone stuffing my insides back in with their elbow. Soon enough I heard someone say "We're going to put you under General Anesthesia" and I think I uttered "Thank you" and that's the last I remember.

 

Here is what I know, 2 or 3 hours later I woke up in the recovery room, Steve and my dad both there, neither one telling me what happened. Apparently, I lost 4 L of blood in the operating room, after they had closed me up, they opened me back up to find that my uterus would not contract and I was hemorrhaging. My husband was asked  if he'd agree to letting them remove my uterus if needed to save my life. He's told me that at that point he did a lot of pacing and praying. (side note: he loves me!) Thankfully, they were able to insert a "balloon" inside me to help my Uterus. I was closed back up and woke up, hooked up to morphine, oxygen, blood being put back in, blood still coming out....basically there was something connected to every nook and cranny! The next day as we laid in the High Risk Unit at the hospital I learned a little more, and both my doctors encouraged me to rethink having a 4th baby due to the risk. If you know Steve and I, then you know how crazy we are and how we wanted to put the Brady Bunch and Partridge family to shame with our own large group of rug rats, donning my dimples and his freakishly large feet. Needless to say, this news really changed the direction of those plans.

 

So here I am, my body pretty beat up (one of our nurses told us she can't remember seeing someone lose as much blood as I eventually did), my future pregnancy plans changed. But here is the deal, I was okay. I had this beautiful little girl who came out of this whole thing unscathed. She is healthy and eating and sleeping. My wounds will eventually heal, my body will slowly recoup, my plans while changed in our minds have always been given to God. There was peace and understanding that God was working the entire time. I have sometimes wondered why God could not have made my body more strong, better equipped and I am realizing that he has, he's made my body strong enough to get through these things, strong enough to heal and surive.

 

Once I was home, I came across a scripture that my cousin's beautiful wife Denise had posted...

"The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with peace." Psalm 29:11

 

I quickly realized why I had been okay in this situation, I am his, and because of this I am strong, because I am his I have peace.

 

You see God's love for us is perfect, it is flawless. This will never make me or my life perfect or flawless. I will still have trials, I can still be shaken, my world can be rocked, my body twisted, it will not always be easy or pretty, but here is the silver lining...here is the beauty of it all, God has made his people strong, he will give his people peace! It's what I felt, it's a promise, it's real.

 

Lastly, through all of this there are beautiful blessings that await me and my family.

 

"So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye.  The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." - 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18 (MSG)

 

 

 "In God we boast all day long, and praise Your name forever. Selah"

-Psalm 44:8

 

TRADITIONAL TREES

So, our Holiday Season, started off like a country song. Our dog went missing. Thanksgiving Night in the cold, dark, streets of South Sacramento, while some of you were hitting up black Friday sales, we were searching for a little three-legged black dog. The next day, our planned Christmas tree hunting day, we skipped and instead went hunting for our dog, hitting up animal shelters, putting up signs, yelling in the streets. Good ol' fashioned Holiday fun!

We eventually made it out to find a Christmas Tree. We visited our usual spot and searched for the perfect tree to cut down. We searched and searched. The kids got dirty and collected stuff. Each kid got a chance to ride on Daddy's shoulders for a better view, I snapped pictures...you know the usual stuff. My Holiday traditions, maybe your holiday tradition, by the look of the line of cars driving out with a tree, a bunch of other's tradition. After searching for what felt like hours with kids who were more interested in the dirt and fallen branches than finding an actual tree, Steve and I looked at each other and I think the light bulb went off in both of our heads...What are we doing?

 

So we left. 

 

No tree in tow.  

 

No kids crying about it.

 

We got away from being tied to a tradition that really wasn't that important. 

 

Later that night we regrouped and hit up a tree lot. One that did all the work for us. One that was lit up. One that forced you to snuggle and bundle up on a cold night. One that fit us. I don't think I've ever seen my kids this excited to pick a tree! It was magical for them, they ran around and chased each other. They each picked their favorite tree and in the end we went home with the prettiest tree we've ever had. Happy hearts, blurry pictures and a Christmas tree to start our season!

 

One thing I've come across when you become a mom, is that everyone wants to give you advice. The Holidays hold no exception. People will tell you the best place to get a tree, the best way to make Hot Chocolate, The types of gifts to get your kids (something they need, want, read...yada yada yada). Soon you start to think, "Maybe this is what I'm suppose to be doing."

 

I am so grateful that our Savior, our king was not born like a Traditional King. I'm so grateful that his story was much different from the world's and that his birth was out of love for us. This Holiday, I'm asking myself this, "Does it hold to a spirit of Love that God gave us when he gave us his son?" I don't want to hold so tightly to traditions that they overlook the beauty of the Season. A nontraditional birth deserves a little broken tradition, no? Don't be afraid to change those traditions, drop them, reassess them. So we're not chopping down a tree this year. I have yet to send out a Christmas card (It may not happen), and I returned that Elf on the Shelf, poor guy never even made it out of my car. Instead, we've made a mess painting ornaments (the aftermath has sat on my table for the last few days), we've cuddled and watched Polar express a hundred times, we've turned on our Nutcracker CD and danced around outdoing each others 'Ballet' moves. We are ushering in that Spirit of Love and not tradition.