AND THEN I BROKE

I have heard that if you go to MOMcon, there is a possibility you can come back changed. I know, the name sounds a little...silly...begs the question, did we learn how to change diapers, braid hair, sing lullabies?  No, No and No. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the amazing speakers and workshops, the lessons and scriptures that filled me this weekend, broke me, built me up, inspired me. First I'll share some pictures for those of you who come for those. I was a little too wrapped up to get many during the conference, but had fun snapping a few while out for coffee with my sister during a break.  

Inside the conference I was inspired. I could not wait to come home and write. One speaker after another I saw how God used women, wives, moms for mighty...MIGHTY purposes! On the last day I had so much stirring inside me and no clue where to start. I can tell you, if God has mighty plans for me, then he has his work cut out for him. Are you ever afraid to take that first step? I began to question what I would need to do, what would need to change, where would I start. As God stirred my heart, questions flooded inside my head, "Who do you want me to become Lord?" "What do you want me to do?" "What move do I make?" "What's next?"

 

I sat as the worship service began. I found myself alone in a full auditorium, I pushed out the thoughts, the noise that polluted my head and for a moment began to focus on the awesome God I served. I lifted my hands and I worshipped a God who uses the unprepared, the mediocre, the scared! Every thought, every fear I pushed out for that moment and focused, pressed in and praised God. In that moment I heard God whisper to me..."I want you just like this!" Let me tell you...I...was...broken. He did not want me to worry about what came next, he did not want me to think about who I needed to become, he wanted me...how I am...right now in this moment and pressed in to only him.

 

"I want you just like this"...He is looking for the most simple form of me. This is the Serena he will use, the one that although inspired and excited by the lives and words of others comes to him first...comes to him humbly...comes to him and instead of asking him a million questions, listens. Listens to his whispers, his directions, his plans for me.

 

"Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.” - John 4:23-24 (MSG)

 

"I gave them this command: Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in obedience to all I command you, that it may go well with you. But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward." -Jeremiah 7:23-24 (NIV)

 

"With what shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the High God? Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
Ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?" -Micah 6:6-8 (NKJV)

 

Friends, he is using us, you...me...your family. I pray that we hear his voice, we listen to his whispers, we come to him how we are, messed up, unpolished, overwhelmed, scared but eager to obey and let him show us what's next!