Tuesday, November 26, 2013


As I left the restaurant, the girls conversation began to resonate with me even more. I realized that true, I never made a 'List' for my future husband, but I was still guilty of the same crime this young girl had committed. I realized that the last few years I had been writing a list for God, every now and then I'll throw in an obligatory "...but whatever you want Lord" but still, I had given him my own set of parameters. Ask me how many children I want...4 biological, 2 adopted...God Willing. Ask me where I'd like to live one day...a home by my parents, not too big, but with a huge yard...God Willing. And my list continues...God Willing. I became overwhelmed with the lack of trust I have for God. I realize that had I made a 'List' while single, for my future husband, it would not have even come close to the amazing man God had already created for me. The qualities on that list would have seemed so trivial compared to the qualities God provided for me. Yet here I am, with a trivial list, knowing that God has a list of his own for me and my family. He has something much greater than I could ever anticipate, I just need to let go. I let go of  'Lists' and I say 'Lord, I want what you have for me' 'I want to go where you lead me' 'I want to live, walk, run, soar where you place me.' I am free when I put down the parameters I've set up for myself and for my God. I am free.

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